Friday, March 30, 2007

amelia bedelia is a fucking MORON.

did you know paula danziger died nearly three years ago? i would become a wikipedia editor just to fix the "the cat ate my gymsuit" entry, only i can't bring myself to be that kind of person.
at any rate, this came up because i had an obscenely long conversation about "young adult/juvenile" authors with a friend, and i got to thinking... these writers had a lot more influence on the way i thought about myself at that age than anyone else ever could or did. hence, i give you shout-outs (and also here's to hoping i never become a librarian to kids at that age):
paula danziger, she of I CAN'T EAT PISTACHIOS WITHOUT THINKING OF the pistachio prescription ever. ever ever ever!
godddamnit, paul zindel is also dead. never again will there be books in which the teenage experience is more excruciating to live and relive, even more so than all john hughes movies condensed into one, than in any of his books. my darling, my hamburger? pardon me, you're stepping on my eyeball? i was honestly relieved that my teens weren't as bad as i had anticipated after his books.
well, jerry spinelli's not dead. Who put that hair in my toothbrush? was always a favorite, although the reviews on amazon are creeping me the fuck out. stop being YUCK, amazon-people! you can get all fetish-weird, just stay away from my all-books-are-nostalgic-and-sacred area. geez. I'M TALKING TO YOU, MISS "When I was 14, my boyfriend read parts of it to me first period every tuesday morning while we cuddled." CUDDLED? WERE YOU SLEEPING AROUND IN EIGHTH GRADE? and you, mr. "as a wonderful surprise, my wife got the book-on-tape for our long drive out of state. She never read it before, but she loved it. Even though she is now 29 yrs old." you know what? that was four years ago and ha ha, i'm younger than her. and at this point, i'm just going to say you're probably both ugly, too. because i'm an asshole.
lois lowry. i think i remember liking all of them, but you'll have to wait until i reread the anastasia books.

do you remember when this came out? i do. a little late in the game, but it was super hot-as-fuck when you're twelve and there's a main character who's attractive and unapproachable, like every single guy you see when you're a shy kid.
i dunno. here, let's dial the way-back machine a little farther.
i give you (a shitty copy of a picture)....

patricia coombs' series about 'dorrie the little witch' is awesome. there's something about the watercoloring, the adult ineptitude, the socks, and the cat, which just make it a lot more meaningful to me than the moralistic "mrs. piggle-wiggle" tales, even though i did want to live in an upside-down house very, very badly.
i wanted to tell you about one more book, but i've always had a hard time finding it. i would have to read all the titles in the JF/YA section before it rang a bell. it was set in eastern europe, during the crusades, and followed a guy who had that werewolf-ish disease of scarring and hairyness (sp?durrr) and um, whatnot. see? suggestions, anyone? i'm probably the same only kid who also read these weird ladybug editions of nursery rhymes and stuff, but there was one or a series about these siblings who went on adventures, and they wore those weird dorky eighties sandals in the pictures. fuck. i'll never find anyone who saw those.

3 comments:

CC said...

I haven't read "Thames rhymes with James" OR "United Tates of America"!

I must. It's a moral imperative.

Joolie B said...

I forgot about Paula Danziger. I reread the Anastasia books a few years ago and still liked them; they're funny with relatively sophisticated subject matter. Do YA books still get published with words like "shit" in them? I wonder.

Spacebeer said...

Dorrie the Little Witch was one of my favorites and yet I had totally forgotten about her until your picture brought the memories flooding back. Ah the memories. And I need to read all those Anastasia books again. And Paul Zindel! Why am I not reading a young adult novel right now?

I don't know about your eastern european or eighties shoes stories though. After reading all these books, I spent most of junior high reading that whole series of romance novels where each one was named after a state. Did you ever read those? They had pioneer sex scenes in them, which is what drew me in.

Books!