Tuesday, December 9, 2008
so there. fwiw.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
leave me alone.
also, don't ask me how nanowrimo's going. i'm losing horribly.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
also, i really hope the brown lipstick around my eye and the red permanent marker ink backwards B come off by tomorrow. it was a little bit more effort than i can expend to take care of that right now.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Thursday, September 18, 2008
except you actually did this (hypothetically speaking) and then you're like, oops.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
shit me like o' the day:
the word demonym - it's so satisfactory. the nym of naming, the demos of demo, of populace, the knowledge that you have a word that describes a specific class of other words, nomnomnom. especially because, well, fuck. how do you explain why it's dentonite and not dentonian, unless you want to turn it into interpretive dance with a mstrkrft remix soundtrack, and just elide that with an um-ah-just-because-that-how-it-be? naw. no 'splainin'. demonym is like english mouth-bling: bish, dentonite be the demonym for it. that just how the language roll. deal, yo. you don't want to sound all ignorant, huh?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
why is it, that with all the hullabaloo over the brave new world of looking at the same old shit, just faster and online, the olds are still not getting with the program? or, doing it in the most irritating way possible?
beijing olympics - oh my god. can one find a more useless, less navigable site? fuck your schedule! the runners ought to suffer, and you should redirect all the smog-reduction monies to the goddamn website. hello, global traffic? no? okay, well, how about the usatf? i know you have a lot of content that must needs be organized, but since you obviously have the organization down, fucking fill it in! don't send me to a 404 "why did you try to change something? you have no rights" when i FUCKING put in a term in the search box and hit enter. don't leave filler in the style sheet when i'm trying to look at something and all it tells me is "About me text". are you serious? what, is there one harried, overworked gnome in a broom closet writing all this shit for you? on the original Lisa? do you hate all your amateur athletes that much? US olympic site! yeah, i'm looking at you! HOW ABOUT YOU FUCKING JUST MAKE LISTS? all our stupid teams are lists! why do i have to open a pdf OF HATE just to see who's on what goddamn sport team and who the goddamn coaches are? FUCK A BUNCH OF SPORTS. this is why fucking pro wrestling wins: because i can fucking find the info i'm looking for. DUMMY.
how about a different topic? guess what? an adobe license to make pdfs searchable is not that fucking expensive. if you don't want to take one lobbyist's single night in a hotel room out of the budget for it, don't make the damned info a pdf. copy and paste is FREE, but i can't find shit in your 987-page report unless i have all fucking day and perfect eyesight. this goes for all your damn court judgments too. all of them. FUCK a bunch of pdfs. *heart palpitates*
that's provided i can find the damn thing. have you never heard of accessibility standards? what if i was blind? could there possibly be worse web design out there? are you that unable to organize a web site or make it properly searchable that i start to have major doubts about your agency's activities and forthright behavior? what is wrong with all of you? judicial system, i'm looking at you. county government, i'm looking at you. city government, i'm looking at you. AND I HATE ALL OF YOU.
and YOU! for the last goddamn time, a myspace profile is NOT a proper band page! especially if it doesn't finish loading EVER because you dumped so much crap into it! damn you thomas and your stupid myspace editor! do you think it looks good when you have forty videos and some horrible animated wallpaper and music samples that all start playing at once and NO USEFUL INFORMATION whatsoever on the page? no band member listing, no discography, no upcoming shows? who let you on the goddamn internets! you ALL GO DOWN THE insinkerator of the series of tubes! why with the giant font where i literally have to scroll horizontally to see that YES THIS IS ACTUAL TEXT AND THAT WAS A WORD, NOT JUST GIANT PIXELS OF WHITE SPACE. you are an author. an AUTHOR. your livelihood is words. just because you make words GIANT does not make me respect your GIANT words as GIANT thoughts. OH MY GOD.
and YOU! no, i do NOT want your page to open four hundred other windows. NO, i do not want to take the goddamned survey whenever i try to look something up on allmusic. NO, i do not GIVE A SHIT-ON-FIRE about the movie you are promoting today on imdb, damn interfering-baggage ad that fucking floats down on top of whatever i'm trying to see. NO, i don't want to wait for your fucking intro to load that you paid ENTIRELY TOO MUCH to have made, because i'm going to LOOK AT SOMETHING ELSE while i wait for it to load, and it may very well be how much toe jam i have created today or my disgusting gray boogers that i wish i could wipe on your website. no, i do NOT WANT you to switch my browser to your page when i open it, that's why i fucking opened it in another tab. no, i WON'T fucking register to continue looking at your stupid-ass site, i am going to clear my cookies and just iesumirabile look at what i fucking intended to before you so presumptuously interrupted me. douche.
did you want more about how i hate the internet denizens? because i have to go breathe into a paper grocery bag for a while before i can continue.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
sheesh. earthquake? *sneeze* legal notice shenaniganery? *covers self in filth*
i mayhap have subjected you to a shrill, possibly drunken diatribe at one point in the past couple years concerning one author of whom i might rather disapprove. like any good Christian conservative, she is completely fucking insane and a proper hypocrite.
well, maybe she has a point, but not in the way she intended.
back in the hoary old days of 2006, i worked for *nameless and soulless digital content company*, and they had a contract to scan, OCR, and upload *publishing company*'s books. a proofreader's job at this company was to check the OCR-produced text file against the scanned page image. not terribly demanding, as evidenced by the intellectual prowess of my co-workers. YA-oriented celebrity-twin horse fiction took up rather too much of my day, or at least the bits that weren't filled with the interminable drivel put out by paulo coelho or the disturbing discovery that isabel allende (GIWLF) passionately believes a cheese log rolled in fucking diced prunes is conducive to, ah, fucking. *wipes self uncontrollably, swears to never eat any food listed in the aphrodisial cookbook ever again*
once we started in on one of the *publishing company*'s imprints (namely the jeebus one), however, the remnants of my bleeding-heart baby-killing pro-civil-liberties homophilic hackles were raised, for i discovered the "life-changing fiction" of a latently racist, closed-minded hateful harridan with skin the color of a carotene-heavy diet's shit.
imagine, if you will: not one, but two novels blatantly exploitative of 9/11, down to their titles; plot twists that include an amnesiac who can pass for a woman's dead WTC-fire-fighting husband TO HER AND THEIR DAUGHTER, for months; claiming marijuana use promotes, nay, instigates violent gang rape on the part of the partakers; mise en scene creation that hangs on killing off (in a fiery mid-ocean plane crash in the first two pages, no less) an innocent flight attendant (pacific islander) because, though saved by jeebus, she had a child out of wedlock with an airline pilot (not saved by jeebus yet - later, natch); all nonwhite characters are painfully of the Magical Black Man sort, even when they are neither black nor men; physical attraction loosely disguised as growing faith in the evangelical flavor of jeebus, heightening at a first chaste kiss more than a hundred pages in; and so forth, all couched in grating, breathless prose that cannot attain the height of craft acheived by the Left Behind series. (i'm not joking here. i read the first six of those.)
so the gall of filing a cease-and-desist order against a blogger who dare use the phrase "life-changing fiction" is near-appalling, save for the fact that she did change my life.
FOR THE WORSE.
fuck you, karen kingsbury.
i've made a decision. i think it's something i can live with for the next year or so, hopefully. maybe not the best choice, but i think as most of my life is not terribly fraught with good choices, this is the best i can expect, and will certainly make me much happier than i've been in that sense for the past months.
things are looking better-ish financially too. i suppose there's something to be said for having hoarded gobs of vinyl for twelve years. i sort of feel bad betraying my record-collector scum self - no giant indie-rock time capsule for YOUR beneficiaries, sucka! - but as it perpetuates the sloughing-off of material goods that was thoughtfully precipitated by the Triangle development and the shoddy wastewater planning courtesy of the city of Austin, i'm not going to get terribly anxious about it. i figure if you're willing to pay that much for the damn sea and cake record i found for four dollars at the houston sound exchange in 1996, you're probably going to give it a good home and maybe some sweet, sweet aural lovin' in the bargain.
there's more, but i don't really feel like talking about it at the moment.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Monday, July 14, 2008
my right shoulder has reconfigured its musculature, knotting and protesting against any position deviating from how i move the mouse eight hours a day, cutting and pasting and opening and closing ones and zeroes. i hunch more frequently now, longing for the days of ergonomic government workspaces, while my chin juts forward and my face angles up to a permanent, invisible screen even as i drive.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
a. party. holla!
b. is this not the early eighties all over again? because i feel like it is. i totally felt teh bite of the S&L failure when i was six, and i'm sure i can feel it comin' in the air tonight again. or if not tonight, then maybe soonish? i mean, come on! wonky gas prices, crazy republican in the white house, i'm regressing to reading YA fiction... what other signifiers do you need? weird slutty madonna (check). retarded poppy dance music? check. cocaine? totes checkers. the dollar making a horribly slurpy sucking sound on global currency markets? check. crazy nonWASPy nonanglo terrorists about to not really do anything to us again because we breed like rats? um, check. insert random fact that is semicorrelated with something that happened 25 years ago? check and AFGHANISTAN check, bitches. how can i not win this argument, omg? OK, yeah, except there wasn't OMG back then. whatever, shut up, go to the B&S show tomorrow (see below) after buying art at end of an ear and then we can stand around at a party being all drunk and deep and shit about how this country is still going to hell and it's still the old people's fault. and maybe we can start our own goddamned newsweekly and make stupid money with it. and on that note, also see below.
let's make a deal. if you don't already know about it, go to the brothers and (not ampersand) sisters cd release at club deville, and then you'll see me, and i'll tell you about it in between singing along loudly and off-key to "i don't rely" and other gems, which could potentially but probably won't include "september girls/gurls." (because they hate me.) and then we can stand around in a front yard or sit around on a couch or - even! in a back yard and drink and talk nonsense at each other. which is different from what we normally do, with all our glasses-pushed-back-up-our-noses-as-they-slip-down impossibly erudite lofty conversation and whatnot.
is there any way i could possibly not sell this to you more? not even a. me getting drunk and showing you my tiny boobs you've already seen too many times, or b. walking over to concordia for a midnight inspection of the demolition to date? or c. horrors! both? double-you-tee-eff, mate!
text a bitch.
did i mention i'm drunk? also, if you insist (and probably, possibly, if you don't) i'll tell you more than I wanted to know about avocados and drug possession in the netherlands and worldwide "age of onset" drug use. gee, i hope i'm not spoiling next week's alternative newsweekly for you. just wait til you hear what torrid scandals surround the potential development of the lions golf course! the brutal conflict between two former UT-golf-teammates!
you don't care about any of it. why am i not surprised?
Friday, June 27, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
the first time i read this book was when i was ten. well into voracious, insatiable reader-mode, the kind where even the librarians laugh at you because your arms aren't long enough to hold the stack of books you want to check out, the topmost book wedged precariously under your chin, because your parents will only take you to the library once every two weeks and you always, always finish that stack before the first week ends and accidentally wash your umpteenth library card, the one with your name and card number in the crazy bulbous faux computer font; the kind where you're borrowing books that seem unrelated, but reference an author or subject from the last bunch, which built on the bunch before and the bunch before, and you slowly begin to realize that everything is about everything and how daunting being grown-up will really be; the kind when you start figuring out that the answer to life, besides living it, is vicariously experiencing it through books if you're not allowed to live it.
my elementary school had a fairly decent library, since it was a magnet public school and the powers that be invariably deem it necessary for the gifted and talented (and the rich neighborhood kids) to have a wider selection of books. to this day, i can't reconcile being a prole with actually, you know, being a prole. i had put the horsey books away in short order: all of fourth grade was consumed by the marguerite henry oeuvre, down to her letters from readers book, and walter farley and his ghostwriters. i even consumed the burly will james works, laying the foundation for my distaste/fascination with all things western. but camilla, oh camilla...
the wrinkle in time series is perennially a YA favorite. you can't go wrong with the sympathetic, smart, self-conscious, homely outsider, a misfit sometimes even in her own home. i shudder to think about those who never went much past babysitter twins and the francine pascal monolith, branching only into v.c. andrews before taking the grownup plunge into bodice-rippery, throbbing purple manhood (menhood? manhoods?) and all. camilla is different.
the gold italic lettering on the spine stood out on the shelf. it looked awkward, gangly next to its brethren, orderly and content in their pert roles as part of a set, different yet matchy-matchy like the girls in my class. the lettering was flashy and brilliant once, yet losing its luster to much handling or abuse. the dust jacket had been shed many a reader-and-waterstain ago, the binding coming loose and beginning to angle defiantly against the book's place on the shelf, but hanging in there with the help of the determined endsheets. a musty whiff as the cover opened reinforced the silent testament of the few names on the check-out card, the ancient-to-the-young dates, 1973, 1981, the spring of 1984, on the Date Due sheet facing the card jacket. the end of the Reagan era was nigh, to be sure. have you ever met a formerly six-year-old misfit fan of Mondale? you have now.
i took it home. everything must be read, after all. it must be good, or at least fun-and-science-y, judging from her earlier books. i was wrong, in the most perfect way.
she said i wasn't alone in being alone. that's the short version. the long one? realizing that i was an i, ego, id, fragile and resilient as an egg, an individual separate from my parents, from my family, an unalienable/alienable person; that crying was something that you did end up having to hide a lot, that the purple dye on the cover starts to bleed when you take it into the bath and don't continually dry your hands before handling it to turn the page, the book precariously propped on the porcelain edge with a damp washcloth near; that Vietnam was a tangible war, the damage that it did to real people, physical and psychological, shaping and destroying lives far from the frontlines; that war and money and circumstances make other people's lives different from yours, and you're different but they're also all different not only from you but from each other, secrets or no; that people do do things for themselves despite their feelings for you, that trust can exist in forms other than all or nothing - this was the book that told me everything will be sort of okay and you can get over it in the long run.
camilla helped me grow up, and i'm sorry that i'll never meet her or her creator, and, maybe, just a little bit sorry for myself and who i'm not, in that special, YA-primed self-pitying way.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
a long, long while.
i don't suppose anyone knows of an ad or government agency that'll give me *sneeze*K a year, and also be flexible enough to work with a school schedule? i'm willing to ho it out on weekends and the late.
that's all i got. expect next week's issue to completely abolish www.ci.austin.tx.us in favor of www.cityofaustin.org in URL listings. not that i hate you (because i hate myself for letting it happen), but it's all in the name of consistency.
Friday, June 13, 2008
track 01 - this is kind of emo. i'm not really noticing it, because i'm reading the intertubes, but now i am. wtf? who starts an album off with a fucking ballad. next!
track 02 - "automatic" oh. whoops, i guess i should do this right. uh, the last one was called "we made a lot of money off the other albums, so now we're artistes." no, i read that wrong. it's called "the angel and the one." huh. that was short and a little too guitar-hero noisy. does that make any sense? like it was an easy version of the song that should have been, and was sort of attempting to rock like a Sword song on medium? eek! falling behind!
track 03 - "cold dark world" hmm. yeah, soCal totes is a crazy epicenter of seasonal affective disorder. angel girl, i'm gonna be your man/angel girl, i'll make you understand. maybe i should pay attention to lyrics instead of typing. no? okay, sounds good.
track 04 - "thought i knew" it started off kind of promising, until he started singing 'sorry about my past life.' maybe it'll be okay? *waits* *goes pee*
track 05 - "dreamin'" sorry about that, i ended up all number two on that shit. hey! it sounds weezer-y, with the guitars and whatnot! huh! why am i so bad? why is the sun shining? wait, what did you say you were dreaming of? the night? oh, you were dreaming during these points in the day. i guess this is what happens when i start drinking at work. oh shit, wait for me!
track 06 - "everybody get dangerous" baw-bahbahbaw-bah-bawbaw-bah-bawbaw! there is something totally midNineties wrong with this, but i can't put my finger on it. i know someone else can. i'm going ahead and skipping it. "there must be a guardian angel or some other destiny we have" uh, ???
track 07 - "heart songs" that sounds all Robert-Bly. yaaahh!! this is like some sort of sublime gunk! "i never listened to much jazz." aural pain, huh. SKIP. "these are the songs i keep singin'" my ass. it is so not-hot to namecheck debbie gibson, not even nerd-hot. i think maybe i'm getting drunk, or MAYBE i don't understand why i just heard a Fresh Prince namecheck.
track 08 - "pork and beans" look, we're near the end! the first line is "they say i need some rogaine to put in my hair." i think that allopecia is not a laughing matter. (yes, i've got a weird stress-related bald spot again. why do you ask?) oh hey, the chorus is more old weezy-style. "everyone likes to dance to a happy song/with a catchy chorus and beat so they can sing along." true, but i'm not looking for this perspective in my pop music. i'll let it slide because you're doing the cute wall of guitar/harmonizing thing again. play to your strengths!
track 09 - "the greatest man that ever lived" why does this start off with a piano intro for blue-eyed bonnie or some sort of traditional song that i can't place? and then it does the red-eyed fly macho style of crunchy guitar alternating with the pretty-boy singing thing? hmm. i'm baffled, yet it's working better than the other ballad-y things. i think i probably started listening to this with the expectation that it'd satisfy the weezer-need, and got a couple songs out of it but am being too judgmental about the other ones. hey, the end's totally "pink triangle"-y. cool. i like that.
track 10 - "troublemaker" yay! more weezer-y-ness! bitchin! good job with the whole not leaving a bad taste in my mouth!
i guess i could give this another listen. 2.5/5 for now, kids. yes, there could have been a lot more hyphens and general copy-editing.
*if i get around to it, up next will be ghost - in stormy nights (which was on at work, and promising), alexander's dark band, rae davis, and those peabodys. i don't know that i'll write about the roller.*
Sunday, June 8, 2008
yaah! a retarded dove just gently crashed into the side of my house. stupid.
the guerrilla disco party was nothing thrilling to speak of, although as we walked up the popo were talking to jacob. they didn't give him a ticket, but just told him to turn it down. dancing in the parking lot of the bike pedlar didn't seem that fun, so we walked back to michelle brown's house.
ended up leaving and going to bed early [midnight!], but watched some mr. wizard video about adhesives beforehand. the linked video has the same FLDS-looking girl with stripper nails as the episode i saw. then, apparently, i am the only person who had never seen the charles and ray eames powers of 10 short, so we watched that. pretty nifty.
[for some reason, i don't like embedding video. i think it's because i rarely watch them if they are embedded.]
the two-tone teal and silver chevy just left hooker house. i wonder how much an hour costs. maybe one day i'll do field work for economic sociology and find out.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
Friday, June 6, 2008
Thursday, June 5, 2008
more unphotoshopped dark pictures to follow!
Monday, June 2, 2008
(our tastes tend toward one-upmanship in tasteless, but i find myself hard-pressed to believe even can-smashing robot would follow this concept through... to UN-fruition. oh god.)
linky-link-link, just a news article
my back fat is mildly sunburnt. i'll pretend i mistakenly thought the UV rays would fry it off.
we had fun and the dog and i are tired, although i'm not sure how her lying around right now is any different from before she went.
if i find others' photos, i'll link ya to them. i didn't even take pictures of a couple of polaroids that i should have.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
also, i like the corporate carrot on the starbucks at 38th and guadalupe. hooray for summer carrots!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
what year is this again?
oh - he also plans to get a ps3 for gtaIV, so whenever he stops going away on business trips we should invade his new place. i told him to get rock band and then we joked about how he would be the loneliest rock band player ever, trying to play everything by himself and crying and taping it.
um, i dunno. i'm going to take a shower and ride my bike to work before it gets too hot.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Friday, May 9, 2008
the bad thing about work is i don't like the mac keyboard, or even using a mac. OS X is fucking up all my muscle memory for keyboard shortcuts, and i hate the mac keyboard because it doesn't seem as responsive. what are all those extra fucking keys for? why is the shortcut to flip through firefox tabs so counterintuitive? what the shit?
i've fucked myself this weekend too. i just agreed about twenty minutes ago to work e-day tomorrow. so that's easily a fifteen-hour day, and then eight hours sunday at the store, and then a normal work-week again. maybe i hate myself.
AAAHHH!!! WHY ARE ALL THESE HORRIBLE BIRDS GOING APESHIT IN THE BACKYARD? they're squawking and flapping around so much they're sort of scaring my dog.
that's all i've got. well, i'm getting fat again. YAAAH! they just dropped a huge branch four feet away from me! OMG.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Bold = I've read it for fun
Underline = I read it for school
Italics = I started it but didn't finish
Asterisk = I own it, but haven't read it
Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
Crime and Punishment
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Life of Pi : a novel
The Name of the Rose: FUCK YES WHORES
Pride and Prejudice
The Tale of Two Cities
The Brothers Karamazov
Guns, Germs, and Steel: the fates of human societies
War and Peace*
The Time Traveler’s Wife
Emma: HATE AUSTEN
The Blind Assassin
The Kite Runner
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Reading Lolita in
Memoirs of a Geisha
Wicked: the life and times of the wicked witch of the West
The Historian: a novel
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World
Foucault’s Pendulum: WHAT DID I JUST SAY ABOUT ECO?
The Count of Monte Cristo
The Once and Future King
The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible
Angels & Demons
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
The Picture of Dorian Gray
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
The Sound and the Fury
Angela’s Ashes: a memoir
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States: 1492-present
A Confederacy of Dunces
A Short History of Nearly Everything
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
The Scarlet Letter
Eats, Shoots & Leaves
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake: a novel
Collapse: how societies choose to fail or succeed
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
Freakonomics: a rogue economist explores the hidden side of everything
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: an inquiry into values
In Cold Blood: a true account of a multiple murder and its consequences
The Three Musketeers
anyway, knitting night seems to have devolved into game night, so if you want to play drunken uno or something after 8:30, let me know.
and there's an article on the UT maya studies whatnot this week in the chron. although it seems to be more about the personality cult of schele, but whatevs.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
i'm also special because i corrected my name in the masthead. it somehow feels like an own-goal.
SO PICK UP A COPY TOMORROW. i made corie give me an autograph by her credit in the informal class catalog.
also, the two boys whose names start with Jo- should pick one up and read it for their special reason. i didn't actually get to read it, but there was one bit i heard that made me think it will be special.
and, uh, if anyone wants to interview, there's one more opening. LMK ASAP. or ask me nosy questions about it verbally first.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
seriously, boat would have fucking peed on all this shit.
insert litany of other complaints here. feel free to make up some of your own.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
stuff is still sort of weird and sucky. is it anxiety if you always feel like there's another hammer above your head, just waiting to drop? i can't tell any more.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Monday, March 31, 2008
- mostly done unpacking
- the geology test of evil got moved to tomorrow, and i found out in time that the government test got pushed up to today
- got a new job that, while i haven't had a salary this low in YEARS, looks sexy on a resume and i can learn interesting shit at AND proofread
- the cat might have actually peed in her box today, instead of ON MY BED for the umpteenth day running
- survived a very easy first day of early voting, without horrible equipment-related issues like i dreaded
- bought a fucking computer in five minutes, and am posting this from my porch
i don't have time right now to figure out what it does, since i just downloaded firefox, avast, and office to cover what i need to do for the moment, but i'm sure i'll keep you updated needlessly. additionally, i'd like to apologize for the poor quality of the last two photos. it's a camera phone.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Friday, March 21, 2008
*gives beat-down to undersized and inexplicably cheerful gnome of hope that lives in the piss-alley behind my liver*
jeebus fucking christ. i will cry either way.
damn it barry, why did you give me hope on saturday?
*drunkenly cries self to sleep, swears no posting until receipt of dreaded TLC letter*
apparently i need to go to PUNCTUATION/REFERRING-TO-ONESELF-IN-
THIRD-PERSON USERS ANONYMOUS. or you can nominate me for some sort of SXSW interactive symbol-overuser award next year. especially because i'm a tool and read two of the blogs that got a shit-ton of that crap this year (and last).
stay tuned for further stupid updates, in which i will complain about my non-iraqi life that is SO HARD, if you want even more detail than my whiny texts, emails, and phone calls provide. call me for friday/tomorrow night shenaniganery, if i didn't already tell you what's happening and you want to have mild-mannered age-appropriate social interaction with holiday (in)appropriate alcoholic beverages.
Monday, March 17, 2008
*throws hands up*
bitches, just do the time warp and DECIDE already. we're still going to be fucked, and there is no hope of any more good punk rock or anything in the future.
okay, back to whatever it was i was doing before i got the phone.
Saturday, March 15, 2008
i'm also a liar and i love everyone i ran into and i'm a whore for positive feedback about what a great proofreader i am and a tiny part of me still secretly likes music.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
i call your number but i can't get through
there is a feeling in me and i don't know why
is there a feeling in you that you can't deny
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
*quails in fear*
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
work sucks. well, it's good too. i like my partner. we adapted hip-hop hits to their voting versions today. some people, though...
also, i don't feel as retarded about my inability to identify cleavage vs. fracture in minerals (the main stumbling block so far.) a crack (hah!) mineralogist-ish i know said she was stumped in this class too. it's one of those stupid familiarity things. why can't i understand instantly? i can for a lot.
p.s. i apologize for the roone-ity of this post. or, if you prefer, we can call it the blurred joseph conrad-self-hating-dismissive terseness-i-tude. not that he posts anyway. maybe he'll get laid and start posting again.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
someone great - lcd soundsystem (no! i'm never maudlin! don't look at the rest of the list then!)
you take my breath away - the knife
let's call it off - girl talk (peter, bjorn, and john)
postcards from italy - beirut
i'm also liking the new record from crystal castles. borrowed the promo.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
jamey and i finished episode three of this season today, w00t! i can't say more, since the first rule of the wire is that you don't talk about the wire. a certain record store co-owner purchased the most amazing pair of pants you have seen, ftw. better than learning george washington invented cocaine, in my book. forestalled the receipt of a parking ticket, had an entertaining substitute in geology, bought favorite snax...
and the capper? on the way to school, i saw an amputee dumpster diving. he propped his bare leg stub on one crutch and used the other to fish through the 7-11 trash at 51st and lamar. i don't know why it ruled, it just did.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
also, a walleyed convenience store clerk asked me if i was a stripper today. i couldn't tell if he was joking or not. i did pay in ones... but does that mean i look all strung out? have my breasts ballooned, unbeknownst to me? is my mouth permanently stained with lip liner? let me know, guys. and ladies.
the contour map turned out all right. i got 9 out of 10 points, as i half-assed labeling the x100 levels. the pop quiz, on the other hand, destroyed me. not wholly, but it certainly sucked. i'll be lucky to get 6 out of 10 on it, but at least he told us the other section averaged a 3.7 on it. hooray?
it's three hours until my first exam in over ten years! oh boy! let the games begin! actually, i think i ought to do a couple more of the short answer questions, so i'm going to let you go.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
GODDAMNIT! it has to always be CHAOS and BRIMSTONE because of the convection cells in the upper and lower mantles! NEW SONG NOW!
i AM tired of you, america. you and your stupid new madrid fault, with your unstable sediment in the zone of weakness caused by the original Rodinian rift. You know what? I have a life to live, and a soul to feed; apparently with geology, by the sound of it.
i'm going to stop trying to supplement me larnin' and just sing along to rufus. oh wufus, you'll never betray me like this stupid laptop!
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
actually, i think *kills self* is in my notes too. minute doodle was ignored except for the beginning and end of class. motherfucker, it's over at 6:55, not 6:57. who gives a flying fuck about cooperative federalism? *stabs* why the colorful ninth-grade props? *stabs*
i'm free from the tyranny of recipes! for at least a day or two, until i get another bug in my ear.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
it takes me ten minutes to peel five medium-sized potatoes with a paring knife, but half an hour to dice them.
i've never read farther ahead for school before, and it makes the lectures really tiresome if they're going by the book.
we are north american scum! *waggles booty*
Monday, January 28, 2008
second, i will rise to the implicit challenge, and serve you with a thirteen-year-old lipogram. it's been edited for my one mistake, which made it a B. otherwise, all capitalization or lack thereof is in the original version. i'll tell you my mistake, and try another one if you can tell me what this assignment was based on - i can't remember, though i have a pretty fucking good guess that i won't look up.
Angst in Jutland
how glorious to succumb to a fatal malady of animation, a dissolution of soul's blood if I could but quit this animal stagnation and jaunt off to twilit Stygian banks, dismiss all aggravations in this world - how I would favor this option. Crack of doom, land upon my skull! I will not submit to your atrocity and wanton ways. blight of lustful matriarchs, conniving patriarchs, crafty maids and family, may you burn in that world of hot light of truth. Paragons of fault, any fascination with your shallow pool of illusion is fallacy. I watch you show your subconscious man. You think your craft fools all, your titan bullyboy vision. All you unmask is your puny homunculus disposition, viscount of nothing. A foul zonda blows with grim stygian flows. Charon motions, but I still stand. What lands did prior colonists find on that far bank? I know no sagas. My t-shirt says 'no thanatophobia,' but I think I'll stay in my asylum.
yeah, i don't really need a comp class, or a government class where he summarizes the book and shouts random words and thumps the desk as people sitting in the front desks continue to nap. i could have spent the last four and a half hours on one chapter of macro.
so, in my hunt for that fucking piece of paper, i had to rummage through the time capsule of mold. awesome and gross. set lists, school correspondence, SAT test results from 1995, old university IDs, letters from people i don't even know are alive or not, writing ideas i never used, an austin map from 1983, hundreds of old pay stubs... i threw all the ruined eightballs and optic nerves away, and saved this unreadable shit that's dried together? the fuck's wrong with me?
i did invent a new game for government tonight, however. ACC has installed a campus alert system in some of the classrooms, and usually it just tells the time in eight-inch-high digital numbers. you can sort of look like you're paying attention, but you're really playing minute doodle! you simply figure out how many more fucking minutes you'll have to sit there, write it down, and incorporate the number into a doodle. better make it quick and good, because the number of minutes is about to change and you'll have to start a new one. it totally rules. plus i was angry because i skipped it last week, did some reading during breaks at work today, and was TWO FUCKING CHAPTERS ahead of lecture. dirty whores. just give me all the assignments now so i don't have to do any work in two months. jesus fuck.
i don't have anything else.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
a) decide this is my future, print it out on an oversize printer, wheatpaste it to my wall, and zealously overacheive for the next several years;
b) freak out at the intellectual magnitude and stick to the original idea of becoming a business major/tool; or
c) turn up the heat in my apartment?
on the flipside, i had an overly exhaustive and hilarious-to-me conversation about joo's wedding on the bus ride home, and i dicked around with tables in m$ word for two hours at work, instead of doing whatever dumb shit everyone else was doing.
we may have to do the logic & analysis testing again, because some genius dropped off the ballot. it's public though, i think... you can come hang out and watch a bunch of temporary employees vote every single permutation of the ballot, and make highlighter marks on sucky spreadsheets. democracy in action! get out the ivote! le sigh. or you can at least make sure you're still registered to vote, based on these allegations. personally, i'm not sure if i'm even voting in this primary. i don't like flipping through the VR book and seeing a party listed with my name. i've shredded, and snooped, old ones before. it makes me feel uncomfortable, like sitting on a slightly-too-large anal plug. i would tell you who i sorta like for the primaries, but i think i'm not supposed to because of work. so i won't. well, orally i could have some sort of deniability.
also, i can't decide which nazz hit i like better, open my eyes or hello it's me
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
i swear i won't bring this up again. i just wanted to make sure i knew i would never forget.
dan saved my ass again today, with an assist from joel. hooray worky car! i think it was so cheered by the outpouring of kindness that it let the driver's side door lock even intermittently work. i gotta find a chilton for it.
after riding the bus home, my bike picked up a lot of condensation. let's just say my crotch is very cold and wet, and i don't feel like driving somewhere to fix it. i like to share. happy abortion day, everybody! you can start the countdown now to when we (or technically, half of us) lose this right. god. the thought makes me totally want to get knocked up just so i can exercise the right.
the hormones are getting out of control again. i think that's where the serial monogamy came from - a subconscious attempt to temper the highs and lows. knowing this doesn't help. rational choo cannot explain anything to irrational choo, making this past weekend kind of sucky and stressful. also, economist choo isn't sure whether sex is a good or a service, or both--sexual capital?--and thus is having a hard time making a rational model with which she can figure out the opportunity cost. you'd expect the explicit cost to be more obvious than the implicit, but it isn't. maybe it is capital, and then it can be both a resource and a good. but wait! if that's true, then i have to have more sex to ... have more sex next year, or even this fiscal quarter! my sexual economy needs to invest more sexual resources to make sexual capital goods, to cause a greater rise in sexual living standards for next year! i can push the sexual production possibilities curve outward and grow my sexual economy by increasing the quantity of sexual resources, or initiating sexual technological change, enabling me to become more efficient in using the sexual resources i already have available! this productive inefficiency or recession, whatever it is, of my sexual economy cannot be allowed to continue! where is my sexual economic stimulus package?!! jesus christ. i need to get laid. otherwise you're in for a whole 'nother world of pain once i "get" the supply and demand chapter.
ahem. let's see. i'm ready to start the fifth season of the wire, finally. i also watched big train, paths of glory, and the premiere of breaking bad. i suppose i've plunged back into tv and movies at the wrong time again, time-management-wise. figures.
don't forget to come make fun of me saturday at the grand. what else are you going to do? see the ends? sharon jones? twitter about how you don't care it's my birthday? photoshop a new LOLvogue? watch tentacle porn on the internet? live on a coast of the united states? pshaw. i'm going to try to drink til i barf all over myself multiple times. all right, all right. i'll stop wallowing in self-pity already. you people make it really hard to take myself seriously, you know that?
Monday, January 21, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
i bet the middle savage could excoriate him pretty thoroughly. too bad she's busy with the beginning of the semester.
no, actually, ah... you know how i'm a big fan of gawker's running feature, blue states lose, where they make fun of hipster party picture sites while at the same time culturally reinforcing it, yada-not-getting-into-that-discussion-right-now. well, apparently austin is continuing to keep it weird by copying the idea. sigh.
yeah, it's here. the only other person i recognize in the first slideshow is jake from the uglybeats. comments? none of you care. maybe jennifer. maybe my fat drunken fucked-up face in a spoofy photo shoot of hipster bullshit? you know i'd totally rock a hideous gold lamé bodysuit, or go naked in just horrid leggings. honestly, probably just whatever dan, staci, or joolie told me to do. or anyone else. choo is your sub.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
today. the spontaneous reorganization of books. incomplete, as yet. the fiction have finally converged upon a physically separate shelving playa, free from the tyranny of hard-ass nonfiction that have oppressed their vibrant creativity and imagination for so long. unfortunately, this means they are all on display, the first thing one's eyes lay hold of as one passes through the door. the other guys (i was tempted, more sorely than a gangbang backache, to put the biographies with fiction out of sheer spite) are secreted in the bedroom. my serious lovers, with whom i shall sleep. of course, that means i'll dream in categories such as economics! the evils of disney! (who knew there were so many, and that lazy hiaasen has the tiniest piece, if you know what i mean... *leers maliciously as she tests the tensile strength of her mixed metaphors*) music books! the oeuvre of thomas frank! the bush family, private military corporations, and intelligence agencies! miscellaneous, i want to see four on the floor! anyway, whatever. it's not done yet because i got bored.
prior to that, i inadvisedly had passengers in the car for the first time. i do pretty well at first, and then i get cocky and fuck up a little. but hey. it was night and raining, even if i only drove us a few blocks to go eat. and i shoved that right into fourth, too. shazaam! i guess if it totally sucks weather-wise tomorrow, i'll drive to school, but i like the brutality of riding all the way down and back. it's part of my punishment for not finishing school ten years ago. more on that in a bit.
the inestimable dave morgan is who to thank, or blame, for my posting. he dropped by on his way to practice with this computer, which is currently keeping the tops of my thighs pleasantly warm. i've plugged in my old keyboard in order to use my favorite letters q, w, e, and r.
school today was a wee bit scary. on the beast, it takes forty minutes to get there, or back, which is sort of counterintuitive as it's mostly downhill to there. the scary part was macroeconomics, but i think if i take advantage of everything and study like a maniac i'll be good. geology was cancelled due to some sort of horrible illness on the instructor's part, so i think we won't meet thursday either. unless he has a miraculous recovery from a 104 degree fever. hooray for making it to knitting on time thursday! i cheated and took the bus home from school. i didn't have a jacket.
this post is boring even me. let's see. yesterday was school, books are expensive, new bag, yaaah! mouthbreathers in government, geeeesh! mouthbreathers in english comp ONE *stabs self* mildly spooky ride home at ten at night, lugging a kitchen sink of books. sunday - sleeping? inconsequential, i'm fairly sure. saturday... space rock is still boring, adventures are awesome, especially in a burned out abandoned house that was, to my paranoid mind, a gigantic rusty nail. i forget the past week already. damn this staying busy shit.
so yeah. i'm back, like st. murse. for the next week and a half i will try to torment you all into coming to my birthday at the grand (formerly eric's billiards) on the 26th. it's drinking, and uh, playing pool and indoor smoking if you want to?
Friday, January 4, 2008
i dunno. do you like the shitty photo posting at least? it amuses me.