Thursday, January 22, 2009

erm

there's always something awful and poignant and cheesy and heartbreaking, all at the same time, when you end something; the emotionally polar opposite of what you both held in your hands and your hearts in the thick of it, the being with someone for the foreseeable future, past the horizon of belief. there's no going back, no revisiting, no reliving. the irrevocable moment has passed, and things can not ever be the same. the word, the look, the argument. you can still love someone and hope and believe in them, want them to be the best they can be and still shower encouragement on them, but you don't have to be a part of it any more; and that's a relief, no matter how much empathy you have for their struggle. it's a hard heart that can do that. a hard, hard heart.

3 comments:

karen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
karen said...

i have something to say which may or may not be slightly relevant and/or particularly coherent.

i think you know me well enough to know that i really hate breakups (even though i have been so endlessly single that you haven't seen me have one) and ends-of-things in general. but there's something really thrilling about the end of something, not thrillingly horrible or thrillingly awesome but part and parcel with the whole thing and just thrilling. something that i really appreciate.

(fucked that up the first time i tried to say it.)

Colleen said...

Honestly I got hard just reading this.