dear computer, stop freezing, i hate you

GODDAMN FUCKING SCABROUS BLEEDING WHORE OF A COMPUTER. I PUNCH YOU IN YOUR FESTERING LESIONS RIDDLED WITH MAGGOTS AND OOZING PUS. I KICK YOU IN YOUR BLOATED LUMPEN ASS, CRUSTED OVER WITH A SLUDGE OF FECAL MATTER, DRIED SEMEN, CHEAP STRAWBERRY-SCENTED LUBE, AND ALLEY OOZE.

if i get chills when reading the economics degree plan for a B.A. at ut, should i:
a) decide this is my future, print it out on an oversize printer, wheatpaste it to my wall, and zealously overacheive for the next several years;
b) freak out at the intellectual magnitude and stick to the original idea of becoming a business major/tool; or
c) turn up the heat in my apartment?

huh

so, of course, in macro today, he discussed the economic ramifications of legalizing cocaine and heroin. that, and his boring lecture summarizing the first two chapters of the book, made today's attendance a disappointment.

on the flipside, i had an overly exhaustive and hilarious-to-me conversation about joo's wedding on the bus ride home, and i dicked around with tables in m$ word for two hours at work, instead of doing whatever dumb shit everyone else was doing.

we may have to do the logic & analysis testing again, because some genius dropped off the ballot. it's public though, i think... you can come hang out and watch a bunch of temporary employees vote every single permutation of the ballot, and make highlighter marks on sucky spreadsheets. democracy in action! get out the ivote! le sigh. or you can at least make sure you're still registered to vote, based on these allegations. personally, i'm not sure if i'm even voting in this primary. i don't like flipping through the VR book and seeing a party listed with my name. i've shredded, and snooped, old ones before. it makes me feel uncomfortable, like sitting on a slightly-too-large anal plug. i would tell you who i sorta like for the primaries, but i think i'm not supposed to because of work. so i won't. well, orally i could have some sort of deniability.

also, i can't decide which nazz hit i like better, open my eyes or hello it's me

i know, i know

this internets thing, with the blogging, and the no! not the minute-by-minute highs and lows of chewtastic, it gets to be too much. i did want to mention, though, that while i'm not really having bouts of anxiety about being thirty and the whole mortality thing, i can't escape dead people. especially someone who od'ed the day before my birthday, or someone who'd be thirty-one next week. there's a fine line to be trod, to not be overly maudlin or optimistically in denial, and for now i'm going to cautiously move forward and ignore all of it. you know my motto's been "no regrets" for a while. i don't want to blithely give in to hedonism or throw myself into work (with the exception of school, yeah), but i can't think about death or worry about other people any more either. it emotionally cripples me.

i swear i won't bring this up again. i just wanted to make sure i knew i would never forget.

you know what else is sexy?

geology. i'll be able to nerd out at you, come may. my professor is very curmudgeonly. it'll be awesome. he's kind of a gruff, total dick, but really smart. the class is two-thirds engineering and one-third not. alternately, this post is also about how the french were hilariously awesome about the prime meridian. or as i'm going to call it, the FREEDOM MERIDIAN. learning rules. and no, dr. darling (no kidding) didn't tell us anything about that.

dan saved my ass again today, with an assist from joel. hooray worky car! i think it was so cheered by the outpouring of kindness that it let the driver's side door lock even intermittently work. i gotta find a chilton for it.

after riding the bus home, my bike picked up a lot of condensation. let's just say my crotch is very cold and wet, and i don't feel like driving somewhere to fix it. i like to share. happy abortion day, everybody! you can start the countdown now to when we (or technically, half of us) lose this right. god. the thought makes me totally want to get knocked up just so i can exercise the right.

I always hated that movie 'the birds'.

like a monkey with a miniature cymbal

i can't get away from making my life annoying, or at least by leaving the lights on and draining the battery.

*le sigh*

to class, and dealing with it later! *raises glass. of coffee*

nothing doing

i wish i had a real post for you, but i didn't do shit today besides study and listen to retarded fan recordings from i love techno 2007. i don't suppose any of you know any once and former economics majors? macro kind of makes me want to kill myself, because i want SO VERY BADLY to do well in it. like sacrifice babies and assorted acquaintances and former co-workers badly. if you're reading this, you'll be spared. PROBABLY. depending on whether smith and keynes and malthus and the rest of the pantheon tell me you'd make delectable whiffy smoke on the altar.

the hormones are getting out of control again. i think that's where the serial monogamy came from - a subconscious attempt to temper the highs and lows. knowing this doesn't help. rational choo cannot explain anything to irrational choo, making this past weekend kind of sucky and stressful. also, economist choo isn't sure whether sex is a good or a service, or both--sexual capital?--and thus is having a hard time making a rational model with which she can figure out the opportunity cost. you'd expect the explicit cost to be more obvious than the implicit, but it isn't. maybe it is capital, and then it can be both a resource and a good. but wait! if that's true, then i have to have more sex to ... have more sex next year, or even this fiscal quarter! my sexual economy needs to invest more sexual resources to make sexual capital goods, to cause a greater rise in sexual living standards for next year! i can push the sexual production possibilities curve outward and grow my sexual economy by increasing the quantity of sexual resources, or initiating sexual technological change, enabling me to become more efficient in using the sexual resources i already have available! this productive inefficiency or recession, whatever it is, of my sexual economy cannot be allowed to continue! where is my sexual economic stimulus package?!! jesus christ. i need to get laid. otherwise you're in for a whole 'nother world of pain once i "get" the supply and demand chapter.

ahem. let's see. i'm ready to start the fifth season of the wire, finally. i also watched big train, paths of glory, and the premiere of breaking bad. i suppose i've plunged back into tv and movies at the wrong time again, time-management-wise. figures.

don't forget to come make fun of me saturday at the grand. what else are you going to do? see the ends? sharon jones? twitter about how you don't care it's my birthday? photoshop a new LOLvogue? watch tentacle porn on the internet? live on a coast of the united states? pshaw. i'm going to try to drink til i barf all over myself multiple times. all right, all right. i'll stop wallowing in self-pity already. you people make it really hard to take myself seriously, you know that?

monday, march 03

i will be such a P.O.T., doing the D.A.N.C.E. i'd ask you to go to stubb's too, but you'd probably hate it. SINCE YOU HATE FUN.

finally, my amateur tentacle porn dreams can come to fruition.